[Life Stories] 3 Most Important Choices

If you were to list the 3 factors that have the biggest impact on a person's life,

they would be parents, occupation, and spouse.

​

Parents are a predetermined factor, and unlike the past, occupation changes constantly throughout life.

I spend most of my remaining days worrying about my occupation.

​

Choosing a spouse has a tremendously significant impact on my life, just like the first two factors.

Once you start a family and have children, it's no longer just a matter between the couple, and it becomes difficult to change easily, like an occupation.

​

In a way, it's one of the most important decisions, yet many people make it rashly and end up regretting it.

For such a crucial decision that's hard to reverse, there's no academy or anything that teaches you how to do it.

Each individual must make the best decision on their own.

​

To avoid regretting your choice of spouse, you need the following criteria.

​

Criterion 1)

You need to know the other person well. They can easily put on an act in the early stages of dating.

The person you know in the early stages of dating is likely not the true person.

Getting to know the other person takes physical time.

You need to observe them for about 2 years to understand how they react in various situations.

Once that much time has passed and you have a decent understanding of their strengths and weaknesses,

they will likely continue to act within the range you've observed after marriage.

This reduces the risk of being blindsided.

​

Criterion 2)

You should have things in common. Among hobbies, values, occupations, food, travel, preferences, and sense of humor, etc.,

you need to have something in common. Some people have absolutely nothing in common and are completely out of sync.

Such people find it difficult to understand each other and are prone to conflict.

You should argue less.

​

Criterion 3)

You need to see the other person's parents. For men, it's the father, and for women, it's the mother.

There's a very high probability that they will resemble their parents.

The situation of the parents you see at the other person's house could be your future situation.

The other person's parents are a mirror reflecting your future.

When you visit the other person's house during courtship, it's a chance to show yourself, and

conversely, it's a chance for you to assess the other person's parents.

​

Criterion 4)

You need to have conditions and criteria for what you want your spouse to possess.

If you have 10 conditions (personality, hobbies, financial status, appearance, etc.),

no one possesses all 10.

If you have to discard 5 conditions and keep 5, what do you discard and

what do you keep? You need criteria for that.

To develop such criteria, you need to date a lot when you're young.

Dating one person for too long when you're young has many disadvantages.

​

The above criteria are my own, and everyone's criteria will differ.

The important thing is that parents should advise their children about these criteria from a young age.

You need to do it before children reach the age where they don't listen to their parents anymore.

Time is running out.